I haven’t been able to think at all in awhile. Seriously my mind has been fried… with a lot of bull shit that shouldn’t be weighing me down and the stuff that is important just phases through me. I should definitely be studying harder this semester, but I think I put a lot of things on the back burner. When finals come around I’m definitely gonna be fucked if I don’t pull my weight into this thing. I can’t always have the same mentality in trying to “pass by” and just think that everything will work out in the end… cause seriously without some effort none of it will ever work out.
I guess that’s something that I have to do in every portion of my life. Definitely put some effort into everything instead of being lazy and trying to make things work out by itself. Things in life don’t come out that easy… so hopefully I’ll improve in that aspect of life by just… trying harder and working harder. Strive for perfection I guess in some way, but we’ll see how far along that mindset goes…
Also I have no idea what I’m doing this summer. Yes I could probably get a job at my uncle’s place, but is that where I want to go. That’s kinda my fallback if I can’t find anything else. I’m a bit bummed that the bank I was supposed to be able to intern at was not accepting any positions this year because of their budget cuts, but such is life in the business world. Money is the green that propels the world to do what it has to do to revolve around the green. You need the green to go green, you need the green to smoke green, you need green everywhere to live. It won’t necessarily buy you happiness, but it’ll make the road getting there much easier.
I can’t believe that in just a few weeks I’ll be finishing up my first year of college. A shocker. Things have gone by so quickly… I still don’t think I had enough time to just soak it in and just tell myself that I’m on my own now and this is when I have to take full responsibilities for every action I take. I mean… I’m an adult so I gotta act like one instead of always having my 12 (maybe less) year-old mindset that I’m so gung-ho about having around my friends. Yeah it’s fun for a very long time, but I guess things get old and stale after awhile.
I guess what scares me is the future of what I have to do in school. I know from here on out it’s only going to get harder as I choose my major by the time fall semester ends. I actually have no idea what the hell I want to do in business, but I guess I’ll just stick to numbers somehow… since I’m decently good with them… but Micro/Macroeconomics have me thinking otherwise. I really don’t like those classes… but maybe it’s because I’m just forcing myself not to pay attention and not give a rats ass about it… maybe I should try to actually listen for once. I guess it’s too late for that now, but next year in Finance Management and Reporting… it’s going to be more important than ever to be on top of my game… especially if I’m going to pursue a career in either Finance or Accounting.
I am happy about a lot of things though. I’m happy I got a good group of core friends at Nova to just chill and bum with. I’m happy that I’m home and… just studying actually instead of going ape-shit. Definitely studying more here since… I’m not gaming that hard. Even if my mom isn’t on my case, I’m actually doing work so that’s a step up from usual. I’m happy that Rich Nahm is coming back next year cause… shit’s gonna be awesome with him around again at Nova. I’m happy that I’m not going bat-shit crazy about liking people in college like I did in high school. Definitely an interesting circumstance now… but we’ll see how it plays out… I guess. I’m happy I’m listening to more and more music everyday… but this music thing is definitely going to take a toll on my iPod… considering I only have about 2 gigs left in that thing.
I guess all in all I didn’t know what to say in this thing, but it just feels good typing and writing it out. These next two weeks are gonna be crunch time… but I guess if I keep my mindset in this manner… it won’t be too bad
